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Let’s Do Tomorrow Better – Narcissism vs Empathy

Sometimes it’s super difficult to put aside my to-do list to help others, even those I love the most. Sometimes I find myself so focused on getting something accomplished, that I don’t hear my children until they’ve asked me three times. Maybe you never to this, or maybe you do.

Tomorrow is one of those days where I have to open up a can of whoop-ass on the narcissist in me. I am very excited for every bit of progress on our Scandi farmhouse. But sometimes Mr. Johnson comes to me and says, “Hey woman of the house! You think you could come help me __________ on the house tomorrow?”

My brain starts firing:

“We’ve committed to eating three nourishing meals every day! Do you know how much time I need to cook?! Plus I need to clean! And do laundry! And educate our children! And pack! And…”

“Seriously woman,” I say to myself. (But not out loud – of course.) “Get over yourself!”

Are any of those tasks more important than showing my husband I appreciate his hard work and that it’s worth my time? I mean it is our house he’s working on; you wouldn’t think it’s so difficult. But it is. And I know my children’s questions are more important than stirring the cheese. But sometimes Mama just isn’t up for multitasking. Or sometimes, I’m just preoccupied with getting my own tasks checked of the list!

Tomorrow we start putting windows in our house. This. is. huge. With the house wrap on, once the windows are in the house is “closed in”. That means we can begin working on the inside details. And that, to me, is the beginning of the end.

You should know that I am somewhat of an optimist and I tend to exaggerate. So when I say the beginning of the end, I really mean we’re like half-wayish. But check this out! Once the windows are in, we can do

  1. electical and
  2. plumbing. And then we can
  3. isulate and
  4. sheetrock which will then need
  5. mud and tape. Once that’s done we can
  6. paint & trim and finally
  7. build permanent fixtures like the kitchen & vanities.

I mean really, it’s only a few things.

Meanwhile, here at the parsonage, our temporary home away from home was delivered. Expect a before and after of our little camper makeover soon. I’m having visions of a beach cottage on wheels, but then there’s that romantic optimist in me.

So tomorrow I could be packing, or making an ugly camper look Pinterest-level fantastic, plus feed & clothe the tiny humans. But instead I’m going to be putting windows in my house. (Silver lining: it’s usually a full body workout with no gym fees!)

We all have a lot to do around here. And as I sat down to update all you friends, family and subscriber buddies from afar, I guess I just needed to remind myself about what’s important. How many times have the more-grown-up-than-I-am women told me that the kiddos won’t remember if I didn’t get the dishes done? They will remember that I cared about what was important to them. Maybe I need to tattoo this on my arm or something. How quickly I forget!!

I mean, do you remember being six? Do you remember telling a grown up something particularly mind-blowing and having them say something like, “Well that’s neat, honey.” No! It’s not neat! When you’re six, it’s supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! (I would just like to say that I nailed that first try; spellcheck even recognized it!)

Tomorrow, I’m going to do my best to make it a good day. I mean, as much as is up to me. I’m going to try really hard to be empathetic and others-centered. Anyone with me? Narcissists in recovery, unite!

Published inHome & KitchenHome Building

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